Rejected Submissions for The Maintenance Page
"Our site is currently down for maintenance. We apologize for the inconvenience and are working to get it back up as quickly as possible. Perhaps you could use this time to..."
1. Put a fresh coat of paraffin on your Hummel collection.
2. Finally teach that damned parakeet to sing some good show tunes.
3. Determine once and for all if that smell is in fact coming from you.
4. Complete your series of billets doux to Richard Greico.
5. Reclassify the taxonomy of Family Aniliidae.
6. Get the chewing gum out of the hair on your lower back.
7. Make a lovely meal of tomatillos and corn smut.
8. Complete you extensive research into the mating habits of the prevalent North American Hominidae.
9. Support your local meat packers union by developing a less mechanized method for the separation of fat from tallow.
10. Two words: Ham Radio
